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Brent DiCrescenzo

from Shane Shan Sean by Buckingham Greene

/

about

This was my first time writing a song for Shane, and a few weeks after hearing the finished product, I asked if he wanted to start a band. I don’t know why I wrote a song comparing a hypothetical pretentious boyfriend to this early-2000s Pitchfork reviewer I only heard about through Crash Thompson, but you can’t say it’s an unoriginal metaphor.

lyrics

You said I’m like a walrus with the sapphire eyes
and you say he’s like a boxcar that doesn’t know its size
And we’re just meat-slabs waiting ‘til each one of us dies
You think saying these things makes you different from other guys

Now I’m angry, now I’m angry waiting in the car
Are you finished with your monologue about Harper’s Bazaar?
You come in, sit shotgun, then revel in your pain
What the hell is the point of speaking like a soapbox in your brain?

We all want to be punk
We all want to be emo
We all want to be beatniks
And we all want to be gonzo
But you don’t sound like the boy that I know
You sound like Brent DiCrescenzo

I remember when we first met in the hall
You were the only boy who cut right through it all
You said this city was bogus and the country was against us
We would get up early and make love while waiting for the school bus

But everything seemed to change like you saw a comet for the first time
You feign sincerity when you sound this damn contrived
Who’s that poet? Who’s that philosopher? Do you use them as camouflage?
Do you sound just like a human or a refrigerator-magnet montage?

We all want to be punk
We all want to be emo
We all want to be beatniks
And we all want to be gonzo
But you don’t sound like the boy that I know
You sound like Brent DiCrescenzo

I don’t wanna hear about polo on the Pacific Coast
I don’t wanna hear about the bad English paper you wrote
I don’t wanna hear about a briefcase full of unsharpened pencils
I wanna see that boy I loved before he tried to be prehensile

I don’t wanna hear about your beef with Tim Kinsella
I don’t wanna hear about putting it all under the pop umbrella
I don’t wanna hear about the Ronnie and Phil of crunk
How can I take you seriously when you regurgitate this junk?

We all want to be punk
We all want to be emo
We all want to be beatniks
And we all want to be gonzo
But you don’t sound like the boy that I know
You sound like Brent DiCrescenzo
No, you don’t fucking sound like that boy that I got to know
(or Ryan Schrieber)
You sound just like Brent DiCrescenzo

You’re just a run-on..

credits

from Shane Shan Sean, released August 27, 2021
Lyrics by Sean McGann (with some revisions by Shane Smith)
Vocal melody by Sean McGann
Music by Shane Smith

Inspiration for the coda: "Goodbye Sky Harbor" by Jimmy Eat World

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Clicker Records Atlanta, Georgia

Clicker Records: music for people who think they're better than Poco. The best net label since Beer on the Rug.

Est. 2014.

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