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1. |
Nugetre
00:51
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Oh yeah
When there’s a light-en-nin’ storm
Call on the Omelet Ertegun
Who’s always there
Oh yeah
He’s there to fulfill your cultural appropriation fantasies
Aaugh
That’s what they called him at Atlantic
His brother’s all like,
“Hey, Aaugh, you should, like
Sign Ornette Coleman because he died
In 2015 or some shit like that.”
And you
Omelet Ertegun
He runs an IHOP down the street
Over at Tokyo-3
And Zachary Levi’s a regular there
Yeah, yeah, yeaaaaaaaaaaaargh
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2. |
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One trillion years
I’ve been the Illuminati man
Oh yeah
And now I’m going to wreak havoc
On the falls of gravity
Bring Seth Putnam back to life
You made a grindcore song with an offensive title
Some midget with albinism brought me to life
Save me from this Evanescence lyric, oh yeah
And now I made the gravity all weird and shit
Because I was literally birthed by the Illuminati
The Illuminati is really just a woman
And she had the hanky-panky with the Father Earth
Who’s all like “no”
And she’s like “yes”
so really, I’m a rape baby
Laugh because rape is actual comedy
The act is comedy
The act is comedy
That’s what weev said in 1943
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3. |
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We still play in North Korea
It’s actually a pretty shitty place
Seth Putnam agrees
And he’s so much of a dipshit that he died from a heart attack
But Fall Out Boy thinks they’re so awesome
They smoke dust and play there all the time
North Koreans are forced to listen to “Folie a deux” all the time
Because it’s literally the only Western music they have
I saw that fat guy from VICE come over
He’s eating all the small food
His mouth is tiny and nothing gets stuck in his lips
I gotta write my check to Justin Roilaaaaaaaaaand.
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4. |
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You have gentified the marijuana.
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5. |
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The deaf music composer is back
And I wrote some awesome shit
Like a track about Hee-ro-shee-muh
And Nay-gee-sake-ee and the Vapors
Turnin’ Japanese because I’m a fraud
Turnin’ Japanese ‘cuz my dick’s shrunken down
TF/TG of the deaf music composer
My long locks are gone
My long locks are gone
And my ears hear good as hell now
So now I test the green sauce at Gringo Bandito Inc.
The Offspring dude makes good hot sauce
It goes great on my insert Japanese food here
It made Anthony Fantano take up eating steak
And Cal Chuchesta to become legitimately talented
Give this album a strong 10 Anthony
I am better than Kendrick Lay-Marr
Kedrick Lamar
King Koopa
You know, from Alex Haley’s Star Trek the Final Generation
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6. |
Guwange Tribute Song
00:26
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What in the hell do I say to you, Rex?
You’ve never listened to a Squeakquel album
So I doubt you’d get what I’m doing
I’m just saying crap like Scott Stapp
Yarling all the time
I put more effort into this album than the others
You’re the best gluten-free motherfucker ever
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7. |
Riverboat Gambler!
02:30
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I cut my teeth on a poker chip my daddy left layin' behind
They said he was a dealin' from the bottom but my mama said they were lyin'
So I never stay in one place long I'm just a natural born rambler
My mama was a Dodge City dance hall girl and my daddy was a riverboat gambler
So don't kiss my cheek and look at me with stayin' in your eyes
For marriage is like shootin' against a pair of loaded dice
You better throw your hand in for you just cant hold this rambler
My mama was a Dodge City dance hall girl and my daddy was a riverboat gambler
I'll say you're the closest thing to love I've ever known
But without the feel of the paddle wheel I'd never be at home
Well I must go for I just heard the river call this rambler
My mama was a Dodge City dance hall girl and my daddy was a riverboat gambler
So don't kiss my cheek...
My mama was a Dodge City dance hall girl and my daddy was a riverboat gambler
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8. |
1-800-CAL-CHST
01:54
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Hey, it’s Cal
Cal Chuchesta
I’m on the sexiest album of the year
You know, Anthony
I’m singin’ the new sang
It’s a new cal-assic
Rest in peace 3pack
I’m gonna give hoots now
Because I can’t relate
It’s still a pretty sexy album
Wait, this is the devil music?!
Oh nooooooooooooo-
“Cal” me at 1-900-CAL-CHST
$10 a minute
$20 each additional minute
Come on, I really need the money
Anthony’s spending too much on the Def Grip
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9. |
Pop Cultural Reference
01:21
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Am I funny yet
Am I funny yet
Am I the comedy man yet
Am I the new Doug Turnstile
The uh
Fat man jokes about food comedy
John Pie-net
A good storm
The song, which is on a quiet storm CD
1995, 1996, 1997
1998
It was a Monday, it was a Tuesday
It was a Wednesday
And then I chill on Saturday and Sunday
And then it was a Monday
And I become a Tuesday
Craig David.
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10. |
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I didn’t get to go to McDonald’s
And I didn’t get to watch the Star vs. the Forces of Evil marathon
Because that’s all I obsess about
And my folks are like “get a job, you’re 23”
This really sucks, so I took a shotgun
And I blew up the gas in the neighborhood
And everybody’s burning alive
All because I didn’t get to go to McDonald’s
Turns out I was actually under a contract
Because I was sysop of YouChew in 2011
And that really sucks because
I breached it by being a dick who harassed people
In my TJ Applebee’s neighborhood
Eatin’ good in the neighborhood
So now I’m grounded grounded grounded grounded
Grounded grounded grounded grounded
Grounded for 22 years and I can’t see the end
Of that show with the blonde chick with the magic wand
And her spic friend boyfriend roommate whatever
i'm not writing out that entire goanimate bit
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11. |
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What's a paladin?
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12. |
Bird Mom
00:16
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Hey, Pearl
I’m not interested in you
I’m not a lesbian
Will you stop considering me a lesbian
I’m interested in Greg
He has a 10-inch long snooping as
Almost as much as Jaye Davison
Hey, Pearl
Shut the fuck up
You look like an ugly hummingbird
One that’s anorexic
Don’t know why you joined the Crystal Gems
You’re a clod
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13. |
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14. |
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Oh yeah
Oh yeah
I’m the conservative man
Some Muslim kid built a shitty clock
And people love him for that
Even though he’s like the others
I forgot that 9/11 kinda turned us
Against Islam because Bill Maher’s like
“Islam is literally the worst thing
Theo van Gogh, Theo van Gogh”
Fallacy ad Theo van Gogh
Oh no
Muslims are treated bad
But I don’t care
I’m Roger Avary and I have all the mon-ay
Oh yeah
So Ahmed Mohammed’s now a troublemaker
Let’s make up that shit
And I’ll have VEAG believe it all the time
In between laughing at the Anime Pizzeria
Then again, that lasagna sucked though
Oh look at me, some guy defended Ahmed
He must be an SJW
He’s part of the John Flynt circlejerk
Oh yeah
I’m so cool for calling Giant Space Kat by her deadname
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15. |
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I’m gonna eat your brains, Morty McFly
Oh yeah, oh yeah, and I’m gonna go it all the time
I’m gonna do your mom
And I’m gonna become president with the dollar signs
Biff Tannen for the new president
Guy Fieri and Steve Hartwell in the Oval Office
Servin’ up hot-ass chicken wings
And shitty-ass Kustom Kulture bullshit
God, Rat Fink is literally a blight upon car culture
Rat Fink literally is John K’s wet dream
With the crazy eyes and the evangelical stare
It’s like Children of the Korn
With Jonathan Davis crying for 92 minutes
Man, that was a good album
Dope ass rhythms with a white man crying
So edgy
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16. |
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Hey you
The one in the green flannel shirt
Life is worthless
You’re never going to make money
You’re never going to be rich
Life is meaningless
You’ll never find your purpose
There’s no afterlife
So enjoy Arby’s while you can
Here at Arby’s, we don’t give a fuck
That’s right, all our meats are specially manufactured
To destroy your brain with prions
I don’t know how we managed to inject prions, but
Hey, it was really easy and stuff
Everybody at Arby’s now has Mad Cow disease
But we don’t care
The Beef and Cheddar is the only thing that embraces you
The only thing you see as you await the slow embrace of death
Into total DMT-less nothingness
Just your lack of thought and an Arby’s Roast Beef Mid
with Horsey Sauce
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17. |
High-Tech/High Pizza
02:08
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Bo in the house, Bo in the house,
Bo in the house, Bo in the house (repeat ad nauseam)
Welcome, and welcome to my house
The new house my father bought
With all the status symbols everywhere
Ethan and Hila know about it too damn well
I sent them new coupons to use
And my high-tech attitude requires the Works
Welcome, and welcome to new worldwide
Papa John dot com website, the new delicious man
Where you can get Pepsi as a sodie pop
I’m such a good ol’ sonuvabitch
I bought all my friends
Hey, I don’t care
Hey, if you know
I am Bo and I am in the house
Hey, if you know
I am Bo and I drive only Camaros
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18. |
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So guess who got management of the Chippettes again?
It’s me, David Cross from the back-to-roots album
T-Bone Stefan Burnett produced as a concession
Got us signed to Warner Bros in the afternoon
And they definitely put our record on the shelf
So suck it down, Mike Patton
I am literally the new musical god
I am the modern-day Clive Davis Svendavis
They’re still hot as all hell
Even though they’re little chipmunks
And I got the spirits of Kevin Ayers and Hugh Hopper
To contribute to the record
Wasn’t that hard – just needed to summon them
With the Necrinomicon ex Mortis
And I gave them a good 40% cut of the royalties
I mean, I earn enough from merchandising as is
Zach Hill’s drumming on this record
And it’s pretty sweet, dag yo
He drums like the absolute madman
Le John Lennon funny walk photo
Le Brianna Wu deadname photo
Le Anita Sarkeesian ugly face photo
Le Phil Fish any photo he’s practically in
Phil Fish is God
Buy cheap Fez
Fund Fez 2
The Squeakquel 8: Fez 2
Coming Summer 1996
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19. |
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and welcome to the oddity archive, the show where _______________
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20. |
Woodsy Neighbor
01:15
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Oh yeah,
My name is Melanie Stanley
I invented PISSCORE
I invented PISSCORE
I create the good PISSCORE
Make it just like the Radock
I am a PISSCORE god
Get the Porsche out the damn garage
Stop eatin’ my damn croissants
Pisscore menage a trois
Get the Porsche out the menage a trois
I created PISSCORE
Get the Porsche out my damn croissants
Melanie Stanley, PISSCORE
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Clicker Records Atlanta, Georgia
Clicker Records: music for people who think they're better than Poco. The best net label since Beer on the Rug.
Est. 2014.
Submissions are always open...for now...
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