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A man lost to time upon failing to make three Handwiches and obtain three FastPasses tries to reconnect with the son he lost via C-tier amusement park from the 1930s.

lyrics

Dear son, I’m writing you this letter in the hopes
That you might feel a little bit better
That your mom and I split ways

And son, things might get much worse, but please know
That you’ll always be my first
On Saturdays and some Sundays

And I can’t believe I was three stoplights from seeing you every other
But I was late to court and as a retort, they gave you to your mother
You and me – we’ll always be best friends
And I know just where we’ll go when I get you next weekend

We’ll go to Kiddieland
You and me at Kiddieland
We’ll have such a good time together
Make sure you tell your mom
‘Bout our time at Kiddieland
My son and me at Kiddieland
The ideal setting for my lack of parenting skills

Dear son, I had such a fun day and when
You tell your mother, say
That you’ve never had so much fun

And son, I really can’t overstress that your mom
Needs to know our success
And that to you, I’m second to none

My goal is eventually – subconsciously – turn you ‘gainst your mom
Because it’s become apparent that while she has to parent I can stick to fun
36 hours a week isn’t long enough for me to have to correct or scold
But your mom’s rules, the chores and school in your mind will soon grow old

And that’s when we’ll go to Kiddieland
You and me at Kiddieland
We’ll have such a good time together
So good your mom will cry!
Kiddieland
My son and me at Kiddieland
And if you ever get bored of carousels , we can always go bowling

I just miss you, that’s all .
I wanna make this count, be a cool dad without a doubt .

credits

from A Wide Range of Perversions in Explicit Detail, released December 10, 2021
lyrics and concept by Kevin Perjurer (twitter.com/defunctland; youtube.com/defunctland)
music by Liebermintz.

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Clicker Records Atlanta, Georgia

Clicker Records: music for people who think they're better than Poco. The best net label since Beer on the Rug.

Est. 2014.

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