I wrote this song as a means to talk about #ChangeTheChannel without actually trying to refer to specific events. Think of it as a morality play.
for those not in the know: #ChangeTheChannel is this Twitter/Facebook hashtag movement started by a bunch of the YouTube video essayists, Allison Pregler, Linkara and Marzgurl regarding their former video aggregate/employer, Channel Awesome (the home of that Nostalgia Man you keep seeing references to on the Internette). They've left under really fishy circumstances - not on their part, but mostly on how the CEO of CA, Mike Michaud, tends to be really trigger-happy. During these past two weeks, I've heard that he considers woman creators "troublemakers," didn't do much regarding Mike Ellis when the dude was getting in tons of sexual trouble, and fired Pregler because she was away from Skype for 15 minutes.
and #ChangeTheChannel doesn't refer to Michaud's behavior either. The Critic and his brother are complicit, especially during the rushed shoots (during March-April, which Doug insisted because of that wacky Chicago weather) of their anniversary specials. You know, those little fun videos where Doug and co. go around the neighborhood and play pretend-filmmakers for a week and celebrate at Applebee's? Well, there's a term that film communities use to describe a set that isn't run well at all - "shitshow." And both Suburban Knights and To Boldly Flee were shitshows in the traditional sense.
For example, not having food and water for the cast and crew - their holding area was in a hot attic, I would think water would be a high priority; forcing the female leads to do uncomfortable actions (i.e. that really terrible "funny rape" scene between Robot Linkara and Lindsay Ellis; organizing a catfight between Ellis and Pregler); calling Phelous thirty minutes after wrap to do green screen shots (that he told them that he could do at this house pro bono after the shooting week); leaving up one of their actors duct-taped to a wall (for a shot) until she fainted; etc.
But wait! The plot thickens!
Remember that Kickstarter or Patreon or whatever they opened up just to start production on a game show AND soundproof studio space so they don't have to shoot Critic episodes in the break room? Well, they didn't soundproof the studio - but they made that game show. Like, three episodes. That were rigged. And both Linkara and everybody's favorite Channel Awesome contributor - Brad Jones, the cool one - weren't too happy on that set. You've seen Pop Quiz Hotshot? I have and it sucks. It's not worth writing a song about it.
Oh, yeah, they also underpaid and took advantage of their PR person, Holly Christine. She got fired because she had a prescheduled surgery. And when Mike Ellis was fired, the Walkers and Michaud had to walk her back home (while arming themselves with props) so that they can defend her from Mike Ellis.
Apparently the stories get even more screwed up, but we gotta wait until the parties involved are comfortable with telling them. Or until April 2nd.
tl;dr - Channel Awesome is corrupt and stupid. Something I've heard for years on parts of the Internet, but nothing I thought amounted to nothing more than "Jacob Chapman getting fucked around and everybody leaving the site because Mike Michaud is a terrible person."
lyrics
I heard the news just the other day
the movers 'n shakers are goin' away
when the telephone dropped it was not a surprise
we who watched the story knew that it was time
hey, we heard it all before
hey, keep it behind closed doors
they hurt the underdogs, got the distrust
hopin' to God the boss baby'll be put on a bus
Beautiful heartwarming deception
of an online disillusioned generation
turn off your TV to save your soul
turn it off and put it in a hole
I, like the others, thought it overblown
that mind operated like a short-circuit code
the lack of love for the others involved
and their absence they ignore, the globe revolves
hey, the brothers covered in blood
hey, the god he can't get enough
they hurt the underdogs, made them distrust
they're now happy - and God don't give a fuck
Beautiful heartwarming deception
of an online disillusioned generation
turn off your TV to save your soul
turn it off and put it in a hole
when God's deprived of his viewership
he'll be forced to think of his sins
when God can't get the money in
reality will eat his piggy grin
and when the rapture takes the good
leaving God down here with his cash
the judges all come in a flash
now tell me if Mike should
stay
or be a joke like Matei
or admit and hope to find grace
or keep to his evil faith
I heard the news just the other day
the movers 'n shakers are goin' away
no matter God's law, they're here to stay
and their success gives him pain
Beautiful heartwarming deception
of an online disillusioned generation
turn off your TV to save your soul
turn it off and put it in a hole
Cardiacs has finally reached Bandcamp. This is genuinely one of my favorite albums, especially with the varied compositional styles, the mixture of psychedelia and prog rock, and Timmy's lyrics. Clicker Records
