"I had to write this. I had to write this. I was a monster back then. And I don't want to be the monster anymore."
- Rudy Dewclaw
"When Rudy finished demoing the song, he cried. He touched upon something he never wanted to revisit. I had to help him finish up the arrangement because it'd otherwise be this stark acoustic number."
- Fiona Fennec
Written by Rudy Dewclaw and Fiona Fennec
lyrics
i woke up to the sound of machinery
slowly taking in my change of scenery
blood gushing out through my moist nose
as for what happened, everybody knows
i thought i stopped him real good
but that's not how thing's ideally would
go but i was ignorant of peace
god i wish this were a terrible dream
i feel like i'm sleepwalking, like i'm dead
this is where i reside prior to eternal rest
dressed up by men who look up to the sun
lowered down by hands of light and love
shaking hands with modern man, i regret trip
lying in pain, with judgmental eyes gazing at me, stitched
lines and shadows sharp in my broken mind
all my education is nothing but lies
i look at him, next to me - he turns away
with bandaged snout and broken arm, his face is of dismay
light all fluorescent, buzzing like the flies
i'm afraid that i won't get any more tries
what i have slept through to become the monster
heaven's out of reach for me, hell's my place, i'm sure
guided to my pain by a man who's forced to shove
eased into my eternity by hands of light and love
slowly i came to the truth - what i did was wrong
how that'd alter course, how it'd change my song
as i cried crocodile tears, they morphed to my regrets
please, god, don't let this resonate - don't let it set
it's my fault, not his fault, but my own damn fault
i didn't understand, i went into like i'm saul
and blinded by the light, know what to be
and with that, bruno turned, stopped, and looked at me
Cardiacs has finally reached Bandcamp. This is genuinely one of my favorite albums, especially with the varied compositional styles, the mixture of psychedelia and prog rock, and Timmy's lyrics. Clicker Records